5 Tips on How to Organize and Design Your Dream Closet

 
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Happy Friday friends!

Today I want to share the top 5 tips that helped me organize my thoughts when it came to designing my dream closet (with the space we had to work with of course....it could always be bigger!) so that I could organize my clothes in order to have the most efficiency when it comes to getting dressed and ready to go every day!

It's super important (whether you have a tiny NYC apartment or a huge walk-in) to be able to see the things that you have and love in a clear way so that pieces don't get lost in the mix, and therefore invisible and gone forever! You know it's true. If you can't see it, it basically doesn't exist. 

When we moved into our home, there was no real closet in the master bedroom, just some Home Depot metal shelving that was clearly put up for  men's clothes plus it was ugly and not set up for women's clothing i.e. dresses, robes, kimonos, shoes, etc. I contacted California Closets (not sponsored) because I had heard great things, and was able to map out the entire space we were working with and give my designer an exact inventory of all my clothes and accessories that needed space in the new closet. That way, there would be no surprises. Everything was accounted for. I also knew I wanted my shoes to be visible, front and center, and covered from dust, so we decided on gorgeous white wood frames with glass fronts and I chose vintage hardware for the handles. Check out more photos below and learn what my top 5 tips are for organizing your dream closet!

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A shoe cabinet keeps the dust away!

A shoe cabinet keeps the dust away!

1. Get rid of anything and everything you're not crazy about- If you don't love it, you won't wear it. I understand sentimental value, but realistically, if you haven't worn it for a year, you probably don't LOVE it. Of course, I don't mean classic pieces that age well or seasonal pieces, but items you look at and think "eh"... get rid of it. It's just taking up valuable real estate and ain't nobody got time for that!

2. Color Coordinate- Color coordinating your clothes allows you to know where pieces are more quickly and allows you to dress for how you feel. During the winter, I don't wear that many bright colors so it's nice that all my black and darker colors are in the same area. I go from white to pink, to red, and down the line of the rainbow from there with my black towards the back since I don't have a ton of black. 

3. Hang according to sleeve length- I like to hang my tops from tank/strapless styles at the front to long sleeve toward the back of that particular color. That way I know exactly where specific pieces are that I am looking for. Looking for that pink tank? There it is!

4. Create space for hanging bottoms- I used to fold and stack my pants/shorts/skirts because there just wasn't enough space to hang my bottoms. I was so used to folding and storing bottoms in a dresser, that I didn't even think to ask to have a space to hang them. Thank goodness my closet designer suggested it because now I see exactly what I have and don't forget about that cute A.P.C skirt that I love so much! I love seeing what I have to work with laid out right in front of me!

5. Create some space for accessories (purses, luggage, belts, hats)- I always thought of these items as an afterthought, but as I have gotten older, I have a couple nice bags I need to store when not being worn, luggage that needs to be stored when I am not traveling, and belts that should be hung, not crumpled up in a drawer somewhere. We made sure to include shelving that was taller than the tallest purse and big enough for my hats, belt hooks on rolling tracks that come in and out, and space at the very top of my closet to fit my suitcases neatly. It makes me so happy to know that everything has a place! Without planning these details, my closet would look like a bomb went off with purses and hats thrown about, squeezing into blank spaces.

Do you guys have any tips that you feel are musts for your closet? Share in the comments below! And for more on this topic, visit my IGTV for a tour/ explanation of how I organized everything and why I love it!! See that on my Instagram here!

xo, Kim

 

15 "Big Box" Dining Chairs that Look Designer

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Hi all!

I just got back from a whirlwind 5 day trip to NYC and saw so many pieces for the home that I fell in love with and wish I could have brought back with me. We went to a ton of shops and got inspiration for our homes and new and fresh ways to put them together! Have I mentioned how much I LOVE NYC?! It is my favorite city in the world with its contagious energy and on the go lifestyle. 

Today though we're looking at dining chairs! l I have had quite a few friends over time ask me to help them piece together their homes and one thing they always get a little stuck on is which dining chair to choose. I get it. It's hard to buy 6 of one thing because no matter how much of a deal you got, its still multiplied by  4, 6, or 8 + and that's $$! Dining chairs are definitely one item you need to plan on spending at least a bit on.

Not only that but many people who are asking for my help, generally like my style (to a certain degree!), which is a mixture of vintage pieces redone, big box pieces that look like they could be from another time or possibly designer, and some bohemian (I'm not crazy about the overuse of the word bohemian) textiles and fun patterns to spice things up. My friends or clients want something similar to what I might have in my home, but there is a catch...

1. You either have to be comfortable spending hours and maybe months searching for a deal consignment shopping to find the perfect piece (s) for less (GUILTY),  (hint: Craigslist is a great resource for vintage and retro design for cheap, but be prepared to have the vision to bring it back to life!)

2. Or you have to buy designer (which most can't afford, it's insane!),

3. Or you have to be comfortable with going to "big box stores" and knowing what looks designer and what looks big box. Hint: many things look big box if they are from big box stores so you really have to pay attention to the details, which ones you buy from, and if you are seeking help, you need to take the advice of the person helping you.

Okay! So as much as I do love consignment and vintage shopping for my home, it's not feasible for most clients on a time crunch because it takes timmmme. 

So, I rounded up my favorite current "big box" dining chairs in a range of prices that will help you get the look you want without spending thousands on the designer one you really want. Below are some of my favorites! Check them out and let me know which ones you love!

 
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15 Dining Chair Options

 

 

How to NOT Overpack- Lessons Learned From My Two Week European Vacation

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How to NOT Overpack-

What I brought that I didn't wear and the things that I went back to again and again

Packing for trips is 50% fun, 50% daunting for me. The anticipation of a vacation is half the fun, so putting together looks and imagining myself on vacation gets me all hyped up and energized!  The other 50% is daunting and I end up putting off the packing process because I know I will inevitably overpack. The thing is, I hate lugging around heavy bags, but I hate being without things I "need" even more. (I tend to forget somewhow that the places that I am going are not third world countries in the middle of nowhere so if I did need a sweater, I could always buy one!) So, I end up packing too much, even after a ton of editing down, and wear about half of my wardrobe time and time again.

When packing for my most recent Italian Holiday, I was torn on what to bring because the forecast showed rain showers daily, but also 80-degree weather. Would I be too hot and sweat through my clothes as I went sightseeing or would I get drenched and dirty? I figured I would need two looks a day due to the weather and then some fancy looks "in case" we went to some insane Michelin Star restaurants that required a more upscale outfit. NOPE. I mean, even when I go to dinners that are fancy in LA, I don't dress overly fancy. Yet somehow I think I need heels and a dress for my nice dinners in Europe? That was my first mistake... Which brings me to my first tip on how not to overpack:

 
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1. Heels aren't necessary- I love a pair of heels with jeans, a tee, and a blazer back at home, but they do take up space and have to be treated gingerly in suitcases so as not to smash them. I brought two pairs of heels and neither were worn once. They just took up valuable space in my suitcase. 

What to Bring instead:  For this reason, a pair of cool gladiator sandals, upscale flats, or trendy slides would suffice just fine! Even at super nice restaurants in the South of France, locals wear sundresses and sandals. Keep is simple and comfortable.

2. Fashion Sneakers are Your Best Friend- I have two pairs of sneakers in my closet that are dedicated to walking around and running errands in comfort while still looking fashionable. My nike tennis sneakers are a staple as well as the shoes I ended up bringing to Italy, which were my KOIO leather sneakers. They are sooooo comfortable and I wore them all day everyday. I only needed one pair and they looked cute with dresses, shorts, and skirts as well as any active outfits! 

 
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3. No Fuss Sundress is a MUST-  Having sundresses that are breathable, comfortable, require little to no fuss, and are thin and easy to pack are a must. I wore allll the sundresses I packed multiple times because they always felt comfy and airy and looked feminine and fashionable at the same time. I was still on trend in my gingham but also comfy and ready for a day of sightseeing,

What to ditch- Take out any pieces that are delicate, dry clean only, or easily wrinkled. I found that I didn't wear a single top that required an iron or that I loved a little too much for fear that I would stain it and wouldn't be able to dry clean it for two weeks! I brought some amazing chiffon and silk tops, but c'mon...soooo not realistic for travel. You will gravitate towards the easy, breathable, and wrinkle free items anyway!

 
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4. Athleisure WORKSSS on vacay- I am a little obsessed with track pants at the moment and love the way they look fashiony and functional at the same time. I wore my Scotch and Soda track pants to coffee dates in the a.m., walks around town, and while traveling, and loved how cute I felt in them and how comfy they were. 

5. Blousy/ Boho Tops WORK- I love a good billowy top that covers my arms and shoulders but still feels cool and comfy on. When walking around foreign countries, no matter how safe or progressive they are, I don't like to attract too much attention to myself with my fashion (I always wear what I want, I'm just more picky with the items I choose!). I love a good crop top or sexy date night top, but I tend to stay away from them when I am somewhere unfamiliar, at least for the most part. I gravitated towards tops that were comfortable, fashion forward, and low maintenance. If I had to put work into getting out wrinkles of stains, they stayed in my suitcase.

What to ditch: You probably won't wear your edgy bralettes or crop tops in Europe while sight seeing unless you want lots of icky attention. It's also hard to get into many churches and holy places with clothing that doesn't cover your shouders or legs, so that is also something to be aware of. As much as I love a trendy piece like "lingerie" and cut out tops in the right place, it just doesnt work that well while traveling. 

 
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6. Buy A Hat When You Get There: If you insist on bringing your cute Janessa Leone hat on vacation, you will probably be disappointed when it gets smashed at one point during the trip. Because this has happened numerous times to me, I decided to skip the hat and find some sort of sun protection when I got to Italy. I got an awesome visor (I love a visor! See this post on my faves!) that was easy to pack away when I wasn't wearing it and protected my face from unwanted sun. 

 
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7. High Waisted Everything- So I basically only wore my high waisted bottoms during the trip. I find them to be so comfortable and flattering, so wearing a mid-rise or low rise item just made me feel funny. I always wore my highwasited skinnies that were stretchy and soft, or my straight leg high-waisted jeans that were a bit thicker for colder days. Those two pieces of denim were all I needed in the jean family. 

What to ditch: I packed about 6 pairs of shorts and 4 skirts when I really only needed about 3 pairs of shorts and 2 skirts. Soooo thats half. I should have ditched half the bottoms I packed in my luggage and should have created looks in advance so that I know how they would be worn vs. having cool pieces that didn't really match the tops I packed.

 
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Now that you know the major mistakes I made in packing, I hope these tips can steer you in the right direction when you are packing for your next long vacation. Of course, style plays into it, but the general idea is that I really only needed half of what I packed, and the items I wore were the most flattering and comfortable pieces that I packed  (that were all low maintenance). I could have saved myself some difficult train rides by leaving the high maintenence, bulky, or fancy pieces at home. I should have known but I definitely learned my lesson. 

Let me know if you have any packing tips and tricks as well! I love learning ways to consolidate. 

xoxo. Kim

SHOP THE POST

27 Summer Dresses To Take On your Next Vacay

 
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Hello pretty ladies!

Today I'm sharing 27 SUMMER DRESSES that you'll most definitely want to take on your next vacation. I 've been a little obsessed with summer trends lately as I prepare and plan outfits for my Italian getaway (leaving Friday!) for my best friends wedding. I gravitate towards sweet, sexy, fun, and fitted dresses that I think would look amazing in the Italian sun!

I have rounded up my favorite styles for you all to make it as easy as possible and I also tried to keep the dresses at an affordable price point. 

Check out my favorite 27 dresss and styles for summer getaways! And comment below to let me know which ones you love!

 

Blazer

 

Sexy

 

Strappy 

 

Wrap Around 

 

flirty

 

The full roundup!

 

My Top Five Reformation Jeans

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Happy Friday beauties!

Today I am sharing my top 5 Reformation jeans that I WANT badly.

I am sitting in bed as we speak, drinking some much-needed espresso and preparing for my busy day all over LA.  I have a casting this am, then a blogger event, and then a birthday party at my house in Silverlake for my brother in law. Such a fun social day but a lot of driving and timing things out! 

Soooo, I love to share my newest obsessions with you guys in real time, and one of my favorite fashion obsessions right now are Reformation jeans (well, really all Reformation clothes). I have the hardest time finding jeans that fit me well, are high waisted and flattering, have a good denim feel (not too hard, a little stretch), and are tailored well. It's a tall order, but #Refjeans makes it happen.

I now have two pairs of their jeans with my eyes on about 7 other pairs because I love them that much. I rounded up my TOP 5 for you girls to make it easy and to the point to see what I am loving MOST. 

Let me know if you're OBSESSED with Reformation too! They are THE best!

xo, Kim

My Top 5 Reformation Jeans

1. Julia High Cigarette Jean (what I am wearing, in color "Savu" ) 

2. Fawcett Jean (in color "Pacific")

3. Winona Mid Slim Jean with Button Fly 

4. Liza High Straight Jean

5. Roper Jean

 

Shop My Top 5 #REFJEANS

Life Lessons I've Learned From Modeling

Shape Magazine Image from my days with Wilhelmina

Shape Magazine Image from my days with Wilhelmina

Hi all and welcome back to Transparency Tuesday! Today I am sharing some of the key life lessons I have learned from modeling.

I LOVE this series and love learning from your comments, emails and messages so please ask and comment away! I LOVE IT. 

As many of you know, I am a model and have been in the industry for the last 7 years. I started modeling when I was 23 and am grateful that I was a bit older, unlike many girls that are 16-18 when they start. Being older helped me avoid some sticky situations where my 16 year old self might have easily been taken advantage of. When I started, I truly loved this new fast-paced industry and still enjoy certain aspects of it, but have learned a lot of tough lessons. I tend to be an optimistic person, giving people the benefit of the doubt and trusting them at their word. I like to believe the best in others, but in a cut throat industry like modeling where egos and money get in the way, there is very little value placed on loyalty, honesty, or even integrity. These are extremely important qualities of course to many clients, but in the agent-model relationship, I have found these qualities get overlooked often.

The fashion industry can be an awesome place when you are the new "it" girl at an agency or with a client, It's fun being loved and complimented, but eventually those girls lose their lustre. They often get shelfed where they don't go out on castings as much, aren't offered direct bookings anymore, and are kinda just old news, Even though these are not the experiences in corporate settings, this industry has shown me a lot and taught me a lot of vital life lessons that totally relate to everyday life. Below are some things I have learned:

8 Life Lessons I have Learned Through Modeling

1. You Need to Believe In Yourself First Before Anyone Else Will- Enthusiasm is infectious, especially when that translates to self confidence. If you don't believe in yourself or think you are awesome, capable, smart, resourceful, and worthy of opportunity, who else will? Taking risks and being fearless is hard but you can do it, I promise.

2. You Won't Be Everyone's Cup Of Tea-

Nope! And that's okay! With modeling, this is primarily referring to being what casting directors/clients/ and agents want you to be physically, but Im referring to even your personality. We aren't all meant to be besties and I know it sucks when people straight up don't care for you, but it would be strange if everyone LOVED you... because wouldn't that show that maybe you were bending to fit everyones preference of you? When you are yourself (while still being kind of course, there is never a good excuse to be nasty) and some just dont take to you, then good! They arent "your people". Moving on.

3. Losing Weight or Making Drastic Changes For Vanity Wont Increase Overall Happiness-

I used to think that if I could justttt lose that 10 lbs my agents told me to lose, I would work more, make them happy, and finally reach my potential. Such crap. I looked great and still do. Maybe not their idea of great, but mine. Yes, a few pounds can be the difference in life changing confidence or can be necessary for your health, but I'm not talking about that ( I mean just for vanities sake). Looking good feels good, but wont create long term happiness unless you have your heart, mind, and spirit in order.

4.  Have Mulitple Streams of Revenue-

Not trying to over share here but I made a ton of money the first month I got into modeling. I thought, dang, I can work a couple days a month and make a fraction of this and still be financially free! Wow. Well, I quickly learned that having one stream of income wasn't gonna cut it because I didn't get paid for months on end! Who knew? Not me. I had all this money coming, but none to show for it and it was stressful. One time, I didn't get paid for 13 months!  I started coaching, giving private water polo lessons, got my Pilates certification to teach, and was auditioning for commercials and shooting them here and there.  I had to because I didn't want to stress constantly as I waited for my checks. This mindset is how Chay and I operate even now. That's why we have investment properties. We want multiple streams of income incase a few dry up for a bit.

5. Rejection Builds Character and Is Not Personal (most of the time)-

Rejection feels awful, but a lot of the time isn't personal. For me, not getting hired for a beauty campaign has nothing to do with my actual beauty or measurements.  A lot of the time, it's about my hair color, shade of skin next to the other model they hired, height compared to the male lead, etc. It's logistics. And sometimes it works in my favor. I now know it's not personal and now have an easier time living my life and facing "rejection" because I don't want something that isn't meant for me. God has something for me that is better than what I have for myself, so I'm good with that.

6. Beauty is Meaningless Without Integrity and Kindness-

I have met some of the most beautiful women, who once they talk and reveal their personality seem so unnattractive. I get annoyed just thinking of them because they just aren't nice people. I have also met girls at castings that were more down to Earth in their beauty, more classic looking, but seem like a bombshell Victoria Secret model to me after a few minutes because their hearts are gold!  It might sound cheesy, but a beautiful heart makes a beautiful person. 

7. You're Not a Bitch if You Stand Up For Yourself-

I used to be so shy to stick up for myself and what I wanted or felt. I felt like I was challenging someone by asking questions. I have been in a few precarious situations in modeling where the photographer or client made me feel extremely uncomfortable. Watching me change, filming the shoot on a personal iphone, or asking me to strip down for an "impromptu look" thats more edgy are just a few small things over the years I have had to address direclty or indirectly. IT'S OKAY TO SAY YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE. In life or on the job. Speak up. I practiced in small situations so that when really uncomfortable things arose, I wasn't embarrassed to defend my rights.

8. Loyalty is often a one-way street so be certain who you give yours to-

I hope this doesn't sound negative but it's so true in modeling, relationships, and life. It may seem like someone has your back when things are fun and going great. But when push comes to shove and it comes time to stand up for you, many people won't risk it. Really know the ones who would and nurture those relationships because loyalty and honesty in relationships is priceless. 

I love modeling and being in an industry that is creative, fun, and ever changing. But there are many downsides that have taught me so much over the last 7 years. One thing I know for certain is that we all deal with so many of the same things, regardless of the industry we're in. Whatever the issue or challenge, know that you are innately valuable, worthwhile, and capable. If you relate in anyway, please leave a comment below. I love hearing from you ladies!

xo, Kim

The Body Positive Movement- My Experience and Thoughts on Why It Has A Long Way To Go

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After this shoot came out, my agents sat me down and said I need to lose 10 lbs because I looked thick

After this shoot came out, my agents sat me down and said I need to lose 10 lbs because I looked thick

Hi Everyone! Today I am talking about "The Body Positive Movement and why it has a long way to go" and I am eager to see what you think.

Also, I can't believe it's been over a month with this series already! Thank you for reading along, commenting, and giving your honest input on topics very near to my heart.

Today's topic, "The Body Positive Movement" is one that I have wanted to discuss for a long time, even before I started my blog. It's been something that has frustrated me in the modeling industry for years due to the deceiving and seemingly inclusive nature of "the movement", when in reality, it tends to do what the industry did before the movement. Take body types to an extreme and welcome those that fit into either extreme, without taking into consideration those that fall into the other body types and sizes. 

I think it is AMAZING and EMPOWERING that plus-sized models are getting so much attention these days and that so many are able to work as much if not more than "straight sized" models. Anytime the fashion industry starts including some alternative body types to ultra skinny is always a positive to allow more women to relate and feel included in fashion. The Movement is meant to broaden the idea of what beauty is and include women of all shapes and sizes in fashion spreads, campaigns, fashion shows, etc. This idea is awesome if designers, companies and brands would actually do this.

However, what I see over and over again is pressure to now be either the type of skinny that agents and clients feel is best for photos (i.e. 0-2, maybe 4 depening on the body type) orrrr totally plus, making it known that gaining extra weight to fit into plus wouldn't be a bad thing for your career. For instance, one agent/figure at a previous (BIG)  agency told me that if I really wanted to work a lot, I could lose 10-15 pounds or I could gain 40 to really kill it in the plus market. He wasn't being mean or joking, he was perfectly sincere and serious. Thats the problem. I am a size 27 jean and am a 4-6 depending on the brand and am 5'11''. I don't look skinny but I certainly look fit, and for me to lose even 7-10 pounds, I would have to go into a very unhealthy place. The alternative is gaining 40 pounds, which is not only super unhealthy for me since I am not that curvy or big naturally, but would also be terrible for my body, mind, and emotions! What if I did that because I was desparate for his approval and still didn't get the work I wanted? This is what happens all the time in the modeling industry. Agents suggest changes to cover their ass, changes are made, and sometimes results stay the same and models are left confused, insecure, and made to feel like they just aren't pretty, skinny, cool, edgy, fill in the blank, enough.

Regarding the plus sized suggestion: even though I refused to gain the weight, he still sent me out on plus sized castings to which I was met with confusion and frustration, The plus clients asked me who sent me and if they knew it was a plus casting. I said who it was and that yes, he knew. They kept staring and told me plus sizes in fashion/modeling start at 12 but they sometimes push it to a 10 or 8 but I still didn't fit this criteria. Sighhhhhh inside. Yep, I know. I said he/ I knew that but he wanted to see if I could work the job anyways. THIS WAS SO HUMILIATING. Not because of someone sending me for a plus casting (that's just stupid and a waste of time because I don't fit the sizing) but because I seemed like I thought I might be plus. Which I did not, I was just doing what I was told. This is the problem. This man thought that in order to work in fashion, I would have to gain a bunch of weight or lose a bunch, What about modeling as I was? A fit, thin, and healthy girl? Like representing the 4-6 sizing out there? Is that sooo crazy?? 

Of course I work jobs and have since I started 7 years ago for my sizing, but they're always the athlete, the pro, the all american girl which is awesome because commercial jobs are where it's at. But for the castings for "normal" girls, catalogue, beauty, fashion etc. I am told too often that my body type doesn't work for those. I look too big or thick. This is in the midst of this movement where brands are trying to be more inclusive, but that isn't so because a thin fit size 4 is being told she doesn't fit either mold! That is not inclusive. If I am not being represented, certainly many others with body types similar or bigger than myself are not either. 

I truly want for fashion and even the culture within our society to stop putting pressure on women to look a certain way, whether that be super curvy or super skinny. There are so many sizes and shapes out there, what right does anyone have to say which ones are beautiful? This movement needs to start including not only thin and plus girls, but girls that might be somewhere in between, or maybe shorter, or super tall, or athletic, or whateverrrr! If my plus friends are feeling pressure to gain more weight, and my straight size model friends are feeling the pressure to lose, we still have a long way to go. 

Do you guys feel this way or are you feeling represented in the current market? I would love to get some outside opinions as I only know what I experience behind the scenes. I hope you all feel beautiful and know that the beauty and fashion industry show a specific type of beauty. It might not represent you but you are beautiful and uniquely you as cliche as that sounds. I hope to see more diversity (this is happening more and more which is awesome), sizing, and versions of beauty in the media and fashion. Let me know your thoughts by commenting below.

I appreciate you all!

xo, Kim

 

My 3 Biggest Insecurities now vs. 5 years ago

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Today for "Real Talk Tuesday" (changed due to the hundreds of others that also tag "Transparency Tuesday") I am getting real about my 3 biggest insecurities that I faced in the midst of my 20's and modeling career and how they have changed over time. As always, my hope with Real Talk Tuesday isn't just to talk about my own experiences, but rather to hopefully relate with others so you guys feel less alone in some of your thoughts and lives.

5 years ago I was 25, engaged, living at home and 3 years into my modeling career. I always tell people that my early to mid 20's were the hardest emotional and mental years of my life due to the insecurity, lack of clarity, feelings of worthlessness and confusion that came with not having my life completely "figured out". The odd thing is, I have also always been pretty confident in a general sense when it came to my work ethic and personality. I know my inherent worth through my faith and feel strongly about Gods plan for my life as well as knowing I am loved and cared for. Yet, I still had a side to me that felt lost and afraid to take steps because I had already pursued some lofty careers and feared becoming that "dreamer" that had her head in the clouds.

When I look back and realize how young 25 is, I wish I wasn't so hard on myself.  I hope that if you are in your mid-twenties and reading this, you will realize it's a different world than the world our parents grew up in and we don't need to have it all figured out with babies on the way at 25.

My Top 3 Insecurities When I was 25

1. Living with my parents and not taking the leap to get out.

I love my family and felt so close to my parents that living at home while being able to model, save money, go to castings and pursue acting felt natural and smart. However, I was ashamed to tell people that because I felt like I was doing the safe thing rather than the adventurous thing. Also, with modeling, you get paid months later and never know if you can make those large monthly payments like rent, student loans, car payments etc. It has taken up to 13 months to get paid for a job and regardless of how big it is, you never known when the next one is coming. I know I did what it took for me to pursue my dreams, but if I could go back I probably would make the necessary changes to figure it out and get my own place due to the shame I felt for so long from this one thing.

2. Body type and image in the modeling world.

I wasn't insecure as a person in life, but I would get super anxious walking into my agencies or on set when the wardrobe stylist would ask me what size I was (when she had my measurements right there in front of her) to verify if what she was seeing in front of her could possibly be the model (shock and horror!). After a few years of people asking if I was curve or straight (plus-sized model or normal), It got to me. I never thought I was fat, but I knew I was looked at by some agents, models, and industry people as the "relatable one", the normal girl due to my 4-6 sizing. I was told that if I did "want" to lose 15 pounds, I could work wayyyy more and be more catalogue and fashion because my face could do those jobs, my body was just " too thick". I never thought I was model thin and had no qualms about people saying I was athletic, because I was! I tried to fit their mold in the healthiest ways I could for years, but at my thinnest I was still too thick and muscular, so I stopped trying to be their idea of thin and did what it took for me to be naturally fit and healthy. When I stopped trying so hard, I actually dropped a few pounds because I didn't care anymore and did my thing. I stopped obsessing with food intake and working out and my body evened out. Go figure. ADVICE: as women we tend to get hard on ourselves about our body image. Please don't look and compare youself to others, it's a losing battle. There is always someone thinner with a better booty and fuller lips. Do your best and let it go.

3. Career Choice

I always thought that I would be in the business world, heading up some company or being some kick ass lawyer because people always told me they saw me in those positions. I was tall, confident, and strong and felt good about my my future because I loved to work hard. Deep down though, I wanted to be an actor. When I graduated college, I felt pushed into modeling and tried to use that to pursue acting, Everytime someone would ask what I did, I was half embarrassed, half proud to answer. Embarrassed because I truly felt I was not reaching my potential at all because I knew I was a capable and smart person. It doesn't take a ton of smarts to model. It takes guts and perseverance, it just doesnt take a lot of brain power to do the job. (No shade, I am one remember?)

I was also kinda proud in a weird way because it was validation that someone else thought I was attractive enough to be a model (as embarrassing as that is to admit). Growing up, I was teased a lot because I was so much bigger than my classmates and kinda awkward. I was a major tomboy for most of my childhood years. It made me feel good that I could be seen as beautiful because I felt like the opposite of a model for so much of my childhood.

Top 3 Insecurities Now

Every year in my 20's was a learning curve which helped my confidence grow and allowed me to feel more comfortable with my career and body image. I don't even recognize some of those feelings I discussed above because I feel so far from that now. Below are 3 things I tend to overthink and sometimes get insecure about now.

1. People comparing me to Chay in the finances we bring into the household

In recent years, Chays career has blossomed and we have been in a different financial place than we thought we would be at this age. I cringe even saying that because it's weird to discuss this topic but this is an insecurity. I work and make money, but I am in an industry where it's feast or famine. This year was amazing from commercial work, but next year can be totally dry by comparison. I know that I bust my ass and that I am a hard worker, but so often I stress that people don't know that and think I am some stepford wife by their comments.

" You are so lucky to have Chay!"

"Congrats on the new house Chay!"

"Man you're a baller Chay. Kim, I bet your stoked!"

I'm liiiiiike "errrrr what?" . It's just so weird that people feel comfortable congratulating the guy assuming he makes more. He does, but I work and bring in money and always have so it totally gets to me. I know the comments are innocent (most of the time), but I take pride in my goals and efforts and know that just because I am not "rewarded" monetarily in the same way (although he is next level when it comes to hard work), I am still a contributor to the household. Even if I didn't work, these comments would still be strange and inappropriate. 

2. Wearing many hats

Being a model and acting in commercials, managing our investment properties. blogging, teaching Pilates from time to time sounds like a whole lot and also sounds unfocused to me. I am a creative person and love to learn new things and pursue lofty goals. But on occasion I'd love to pick one and be certain in my answer. But the truth is, these careers are ever changing which is why I have a few. Because I dont go to an office, my careers often don't feel legitimate to me.

3. financial stability and comparison

Over the last few years, it's been an interesting learning curve to see first hand or "over hear" what people have to say about Chay and I investing in property, going on trips here and there, or getting a new car when mine died. It's been super uncomfortable for me at times. It has actually really hurt my feelings because instead of being happy for us, it's pretty clear some people get competitive vs. supportive. Making comments about their car, their house, their "things" when it's like "whats that got to do with anything?" We have never thrown a housewarming party because we don't want to seem like were "celebrating too much" or bragging (although I think we finally will!). Even when I have mentioned we are going somewhere for vacation, the response is like "cool." Another friend says they are going on vacation with their hubby and its like " OH MY GOSH I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO THERE! GOOD FOR YOU GUYS!" I don't need this intense validation but I really just want my friends/siblings to feel happy for me like they do for the others in our group. I get the dynamic and understand the insecurity, but it's tiring after a while because it makes me realize something so small as money can get in the way of others having genuine happiness for you. That's been a bummer to figure out.

 

 

It's interesting to me how my "insecurities" have changed so much over the years. I never thought I would be freed from the burden of negative body image. I have heard people say it's a life long battle, but if you're dealing with this right now, know that it doesn't have to be. Knowing who you are and not being swayed by comparison was the start of my healing.

We also live in a different world today and many people are pursuing multiple passions. I want to feel good about myself, and if I do, then that's it. No one else gets to have a say. (Or at least that's what I am working towards.)

Lastly, finances shouldn't define or change the way you view your friends. (regardless if they have above and beyond or are struggling) Let their character and the way they treat others dictate that.  Have any of you dealt with any of these things in the past? I would love your input if you relate to either side. 

I appreciate you guys and value your honest feedback!

xo, Kim